
Give a man a six pack and he’ll drink for a day.
Give him a 24 pack and he’ll drink for a day.
white people eradicated entire populations for spices and yet the bay leaf remains a mystery
Give a man a six pack and he’ll drink for a day.
Give him a 24 pack and he’ll drink for a day.
If you get engaged and you and your partner both owns dogs do the dogs become brother and sister or are they married too?
I tried to be domestic & cook. Microwave is on fire. A waffle maker, 3 pans, a toaster & my neighbors cat in the trash. Making soup is HARD!
Government Shutdown: Day Three
Jellystone Park still closed.
Still no pic-a-nic baskets.
Yogi stares at Boo-Boo…
Boo-Boo looks tasty.
[Burying dinosaur bones]
Dog Aliens: We’ll come back for these later
BOSS: you’re fired
ME: please give me another chance, I’m struggling to put food on the table
BOSS: that’s the problem…you’re the worst waiter I’ve ever hired
I’m never gonna tell the person I’m meeting up with that you said hi.
People say I mangle metaphors, but you can’t make an omelet without beating a few dead horses.
Maybe the raccoons threw away something very important. Did you ever think about that you big jerk.
are they though??