@alive_and_dying
@mrtruthandsoul Hell hath no fury like a woman proving herself by parallel parking
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@mrtruthandsoul 
@SamGrittner I celebrate International Women’s Day by visiting my local CVS and torching all their ‘JUST FOR MEN’ products while screaming: “NOT TODAY!”
@KevinHBell o shit
@DanteEvilCat That awkward moment when someone says “stop”, and you don’t know whether to respond with “collaborate and listen” or “hammer time.”
@SaraESpivey I turned my phone onto “Airplane Mode” and threw it into the air. Worst. Transformer. Ever.
@GuyAdvisor Remember, Kids… If you can’t say anything nice, well, it’s probably hilarious and worth getting into trouble over anyway.
@_kayditty Just left WalMart. All the cute well behaved kids must be at Target.
@Theropologist You know how when everyone is clapping along to the song and you join in and it’s fun at first but after a while you’re like oh shit do I have to keep this up for the whole song? That’s what life is like.
@chopper4jk Um, so you’re god’s gift to women? So was Jesus…look what happened to him.
You may want to rethink that.
@chrisanna4real My signature move is being a complete idiot trying to convince someone that I’m not drink.
Drank.
Drunk.