You wouldn’t hate anything about yourself if the world hadn’t taught you how.
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searching for people who think cologne is spelled colon is my favorite thing to do
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Someone just gave the agenda for the “third half” of our meeting. Guessing it won’t involve fractions.
doctor it hurts when i do this *checks bank account*
[Trailer voice]
Detective Will Anker is an alcoholic with a drug problem who has just 48 hours to find the person who killed 150,000 innocent people & stole 37 billion pounds.
The only problem is everything points to him!!!!W. Anker
Thursdays on Fox![]()
Sex is great but have you tried taking a shower after a week of camping?
For $5 I’ll comment on your exes new relationship status saying “you gave me herpes!”
“You’re in no position to be making demands.”
[does a handstand]
“Company helicopter & 2 months extra vacation.”
“Fair enough.
If you’re a grown man walkin around with a winter hat that has animal ears I can tell that @ some point people used 2 take your lunch money
Turn ons include knobs, faucets, buttons, handles, cranks, and ignitions.
The worst part of waking up from a nap is the noise my coworkers make in the office.