The thumbs up emoji is a nice way to tell someone not only did you receive their message, you’re also done with the conversation.
You Might Also Like
[In football huddle]
“What do you guys think happens when we die?”
Friend who once recommended a movie where the dog died: Don’t worry, you can trust me
Me *whispers*: never again
Up until 2013, Pizza Hut was the largest buyer of kale in the US
They used it to decorate their salad bar
Him: I’m a big Star Wars nerd.
Me: Oh yeah, name one ewok.
spent the day in the woods trying to distract the deer hunters. shocked at the things I’d do just to save a few bucks
*looks at chess board for a long time before finally looking up* I thought you said cheese board
*sees lost cat*
Hey buddy you lost
*reads tag*
there’s a phone number
*dials number*
*little cell phone in cats pocket starts ringing*
My organic chemistry class was at 7am and the teacher stressed how important it was for us to get enough sleep… so I slept in class.
my wife opens my diary & her jaw drops as she reads page after page after page after page of bigfoot poetry
I wrote a check today at the grocery store and then I left and got on my horse and buggy and slowly drove away.
Let’s walk and talk.
You go that way.
You think that a new transit line that would carry over a million people a year would be good? Well these 20 wealthy home owners say otherwise
be careful when u talk baby talk to a baby becuase if u dont understand what ur saying u may acidentaly be declaring war in baby langauge
Dear Electric Company,
You’re welcome. Go buy yourself something special.
-My family, every summer.
This is an illustration of how dumb I am in the morning: I woke up yesterday to my “Alarm” on my phone and my first thought was “Aladdin is calling me”
Just tried a kids meal in McDonald’s. Unfortunately, her dad chased me away before I got any of her chips.
Uh, guys… I just heard from my doctor, and it’s bad news. If you’ve retweeted me recently, you should really go get yourself checked out.
*mob meeting*
ayo new guy—who’re you?“they call me the butcher”
oh yea? why’s that, butch?
*smacks him with a pork loin* “no reason”
My favorite part of the Bible is when God gives humans free will, then kills them with a flood because they didn’t act the way he wanted.
You raised me and taught me everything I know. Happy Father’s Day, internet.
concern
You’re not an “empath”.
You have “chronic heartburn”.
Darth Vader: [swiping through tinder] why am I not getting any matches
Stormtrooper: [under breath] maybe because you’re an evil genocidal maniac
Darth Vader: is it because I’m a single dad
Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.
Autocannibalism is self-serving.
7 had questions about periods so I answered as best as I could and when I told her they happen every month, she burst into tears which is the appropriate response.
My wife is constantly hiding things where they belong.
I want a Viking funeral when I die…complete with sticks, marshmallows and chocolate for the attendees.
What? I’m sure that’s traditional.
[after a plane crash]
Pilot: are u guys mad at me :/
Pope joins twitter. Quits being Pope. Takes twittercide to a whole new level. Your move, drama queens.