It be like that sometimes 😆
You Might Also Like
[Olympic Swimming]
CANADIAN ANNOUNCER: I feel bad for the water look how hard they’re kicking it.
Dr: How can I help you?
Me: Can you make me look like this?
Dr: Ma’am, that’s a picture of Hello Kitty.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
2/22/22 was created by Big 2 to sell more 2s.
What a kind woman! 😂😂
“What did I ever see in him?” – the Invisible Man’s ex
A small child could swim through the veins of a blue whale’s heart. Let’s make this happen.
as a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends.
as an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.
So it turns out the child that cost me the most money in the Legoland store……was me.
Improve your DVD collection by simply attaching googly eyes!
There’s black ice out there. Walk slowly with a wide stance while crouching and keep your arms away from your body for balance. I’m not sure if it will keep you safer but it’s funny to think about you walking that way.
People on Twitter are crazy. You can be like “I like summer” and there’ll be a comment under it like “wowww really? summer??? how dare you even say that? I expected more from you, you entitled piece of shit”
Someone saw me today. It was exciting and very scary. I am a bear.
me: [eating tapeworms] I’m just getting hungrier
They should sell edibles at the airport with the slogan “make every flight a red eye”. This would make approximately 600 billion dollars
[Millennial Antiques Roadshow]
Appraiser: The beige color & stretched coils indicate this was the cord to a…landline phone.
*crowd gasps
Do something nice for your ex today, take them out. One bullet should do the trick.
I ate the last Hot Pocket and left the empty box in the freezer. I think it’s time my kids learn how that shit feels
Youtube is the only place where you’ll find people arguing about religion in the comments of a snowboarding video.
Hey Febreze, I don’t go around with garbage in my car, but if nobody could tell I just smoked a joint in there, I might buy some.
gimma back my stick frost man… 😖☃️
I hate when ppl at the grocery store get mad at you for “stealing” their cart of food. YOU DON’T OWN THIS STUFF YET!!!!!!
my dog when she sees a vacuum: i have no concept of heaven and hell but holy shit you are the devil
I’m just a girl, with a baseball bat, smashing my internet modem into a gazillion pieces.
I’m still in disbelief that 9/11 coincidentally happened on September 11 (9/11)
I like that movie where the lion roars at the very beginning.
I wonder if soap opera actors know how to carry on regular conversations in real life or if they’re just always saying part of a thought
When people say: “he’s a nice person once u get to know him”, they really mean: “he’s a dickhead, but you’ll get used to it!”
Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.
whenever i see that someone somewhere has spent a bunch of time making or designing or building something i think about how crazy it is that they never thought to check in with me, the guy with no skills or expertise who spent 10 seconds looking at a tweet about it