Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.
You Might Also Like
when ur hate is strong but your bladder’s weak
If there is a zombie apocalypse I hope that they are thriller zombies because they’re fabulous dancers
The good news is it wasn’t a bug. The bad news is I beat the crap out of a black bean on the floor with my shoe.
omg your honor why are you like obsessed with my client
Even when food is heaven on Earth
my husband adds hot sauce till it tastes like satan.
Yes, autocorrect, I wanted to ask if she was all tight. Thank you. Now I know.
When I see someone at a carwash late at night, I assume they’ve just committed murder.
[guy who just got out of prison on a technicality]
“what were you in for?”
murder, a guy… a guy…
“spit it out man”
a guy, interrupted me
Every once in a while in a bag of peanut m&m’s you get that one roundboi that has no peanut and it’s just a thicc m&m and that’s the m&m i’d like to be if I were an m&m
WIFE: Not your eyes! You dont have to prove it anymore
GUY WHO CLAIMS HE PUTS HOT SAUCE ON EVERYTHING: *thru tears* I made a commitment babe
*serious situation*
My brain:
So, apparently, avid cyclists don’t like it when you call them “pedalphiles.”
me *choking*
dog *grabs the sandwich I dropped and brings it to her bed*
PRIEST: 1st the groom’s vows.
ME: *Unfolds notes* I’m only doing this for the cake.
PRIEST: That’s not really-
HER: That’s what I wrote too.
6500 languages in the world and you decide you want to talk shit.
Dear Middle School,
How about a separate science fair for kids who did their own projects?
Sincerely,
Parent Who Can’t Build A Robot
Me: I spy with my little eye someone who is guilty.
Murder suspect: Me?
Me: Ahah, so you confess!
It is not stealing if you walk into a place and do not know where you are or what is happening and just take whatever food you can carry because it is the only thing that makes sense in that moment.
I am a bear.
Shout out to the top 5 phones, mega, micro, smart, speaker and get off the damn.
[gets exhausted after having sex for five minutes] “Go on without me”
Son: Did you know Alligators can live 100 years?
Me: Must be why you’ll see them later.
I like to sleep naked. I don’t understand why airlines have a problem with this.
911: what is your emergency?
Me: HE READ BUT DIDN’T REPLY
wife: Why are there dishes in the sink?
my son’s last words: Because you didn’t do them
anytime I light a candle I immediately picture a firefighter explaining to my neighbors how it happened
“Invisible Woman” just followed me.
I did not see that coming.
“If you started at 16 and work until you’re 23.
That would give you 10 years of experience.”
Back to school for you My friend!
Boss: HR wants to see you
Me: What for?
Boss: Mandatory drug test
Me: Oh man, I really can’t do any more drugs after the weekend I had
Me: Tel the doctor I’m coughing up a lung and need to be seen ASAP.
Medical Clerk: That’s awful, hun. How about a month from Monday.
Driving along the expressway and a truck with an open tailgate just bounced a cooler into the lane ahead of me and I didn’t even panic all those years of Mario Kart finally paid off