George Clooney and Brad Pitt fall in love and rob casinos together.
#ExplainAFilmPlotBadly
You Might Also Like
Girl if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex
“So it’s agreed? If we’re both single at age 40 we’re doing this?”
Yes. If we’re alone at 40, we’re getting matching racecar beds
Me: When I asked you to get into the Christmas spirit, I didn’t mean for you to become Scrooge!
Teen: rolls eyes
if you’re feeling stressed, remember to IN EX HAHA LE LE
LIFE LESSON: Never do anything which you don’t want to explain to the Paramedics.
Me:*Chewing* These pot brownies are disgusting.
Him: That’s a dish sponge.
Me: Oh no! That means –
*Sees all the tea cups eating my Doritos*
I show extra confidence at a job interview by giving a firm handshake before and after every question.
(gets pulled over)
wife: be nice.
cop: do you have any drugs?
me: yeah man help yourself.
The cat puked all over the bath mat so I just tossed it into the trash can. Then I put the bath mat in the washer.
Most of the sports bras I own are because I couldn’t get them off before leaving the store.
Rescued a Roomba from eBay and gave it a forever home.
You ever released wind at the bank and accidentally deposited loose change?
Husband: Did your friend Kathy have her baby boy?
Me: She had a girl.
H: Oh.
Me: Yeah, she’s 5 now.
My dentist told me I need a crown. I was like I KNOW, RIGHT?
Car Salesman: This baby gets 26mpg and check out this nice interior!
Me: *placing several hot dogs in the cup holder* It’s not bad
No thanks, Mr. Easter Bunny.
I have plenty of dying eggs.
Enjoy your 30s cause in your 40s your check knees light comes on
Cutting Crew: I just died in your arms tonight. Must’ve been something you said…
Me: *closing book of spells* Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit!
Have manufacturers of picket fences ever gone on strike? Because the irony would be awesome.
Take your time, I’ll wait.
fortune cookie- You will not die alone but with many many cat…
cat: LOL THAT’S SO YOU!
When I get my tax refund I’m gonna mess around and buy the whole 18 pack of eggs.
Kids are away so I’m taking my wife out tonight.
-Like with an assassin or are you doing it yourself?
Um, like…to dinner.
-Cool, cool.
My husband just emptied all the bathroom garbage cans, and I’ve never been more suspicious.
I SCREAM
YOU SCREAM
WE ALL SCREAM BECAUSE MY WIFE IS DRIVING WITHOUT HER GLASSES ON AGAIN!!
I don’t have many enemies because I’m funny and sweet and they all died in mysterious fires.
If I had two bathrooms I’d tell everyone someone died in one, I ain’t tryna clean two bathrooms
Telling our kids we were born before the Internet is going to be the new ‘I walked to school in the snow without shoes’
Officer: do you know why I pulled you over
Me: no sir
My Parrot: hell yea I love driving 86 mph without a seatbelt! my name is phil jamesson
[doesn’t moisturize for three nights in a row]
Welp, I guess I’m ready for Halloween now.
[Ancient Roman to little girl]
“So, what’s your name?”
“Ivy”
“And how old are you?”
“Same”