Attachment isn’t when 2 ppl chat night and day. When someone emails u and adds an image or data file with it,
THAT FILE IS CALLED ATTACHMENT
You Might Also Like
My apartment is a mess, I should move
[gets to heaven, transforms into angel]
God: Here’s your white gown
and— You JUST got here. How did you already spill spaghetti sauce all over yourself?
I’ve done 10 sit-ups today, I can’t take much more of this ab use.
*pets your eyebrows*
there, there caterpillar; everything will be ok
We’d like to sincerely apologize for booking the Karate Convention on the same day as the Rare Wooden Boards Fair
Smile they said.
[runs to the door to greet wife]
I’m afraid there’s been a terrible accident involving all the things you asked me to do today.
Lance isn’t a common name now, but in Medieval times guys were named Lance a lot.
I only tell jokes so someone will explain them to me.
Someone on Facebook posted “Having the BEST DAY EVER!!”
So I posted the Sarah Mclachlan animal cruelty video in the comments
I thought PrintNightmare was when your boss caught you using the company photocopier to make your lost goldfish flyers.
If you stand in the rain, you’ll grow quicker.
to the lifeguard saving me: how long can you hold your breath
I would offer to wisk you away on a forbidden, sin filled vacation, but I just paid for an airport mixed drink instead…
Trees put cats in their hair so they can flirt with firefighters when they climb up them.
ME: I will now pull a rabbit out of my cat
MAGICIAN TEACHER: omg what have you done
Cop 1: You think Simon will escape?
Cop 2: Nah, he’s locked up in there good.
Simon: Simon Says free me.
Cop 1: Dang it, he got us.
The best part of Robocop is when they spent billions of dollars making a cyborg super soldier instead of helping Detroit not be awful.
I just cleaned my floors. If you need me I’ll be crawling around, picking up every new crumb by hand and grumbling about how my family needs to eat outside for the next 2 days.
judge: how do you plead
me: *burps* excuse me
judge: you are excused
me: [running away] gottem lol
Hogwarts – a magical school or a pig venereal disease? Inquiring minds wanna know
FRIEND: what r u watching
ME: unsolved mysteries
FRIEND: so just mysteries?
ME: [taking bite of edible food] i’m not sure what u mean
him: damn girl you’re hot
me (menopausal): I know. it sucks
Me: What’s for dinner?
Shawn: Prawns
Shaun: Prauns
Sean: Preans
[doc walks in holding up my X-rays with one hand & giving a thumbs down with the other]
Bad news, pal. You’re a skeleton.
for some *ridiculous* reason the french love to translate movie titles from english to… english
here’s a thread with my all-time favorites, starting with “the hangover”
…i mean VERY BAD TRIP
Overdraft fees should be illegal. Simply block the payment if there are insufficient funds. Why is that hard?
My first class ticket to the weekend never arrived, so I went couch.
CW: Have you had 5 guys?
Me: *blank stare* That’s kinda personal don’t ya think?
And that’s when I found out it’s the name of a burger joint