Dear BJ’s,
Either your employees are very rude…
Or, the name of your store is terribly misleading.Sincerely,
An ‘Unsatisfied’ Customer
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Psychology says:
People will believe everything written after “psychology says.”
You know it was a good party when the neighbor sends you a text to say they managed to get your bra off their roof
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*I’m still not sure*
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Galaxy Note 7: I have an idea
Scuba instructor: Sharks can sense blood in a 2 mile radius.
*everyone turns to glare at me as I floss for the first time this year*Me: What?
I didn’t even know my grandma had a gun until I coughed at her house.
I love how when you walk through a spider web, you all of the sudden know Kung Fu.
My most difficult parenting challenge to date is when my toddler shouted “oh my god, not again!” when my over talkative neighbour came to chat to us and I had to try not to laugh
“Boo!” — cow with a cold
*STUDYING FOR JOB INTERVIEW*
•Never criticize your former employer
•Maintain eye contact
•Be positive*JOB INTERVIEW*
INTERVIEWER: Tell me about yourself.
ME: I worshiped my previous boss, *leans in close*
and we live in a world of limitless beauty.
I been hollering for the past 10 minutes 😂😂😂
Excerpt of my Google searches today:
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7:54am Did the curve flatten yet
8:12am Did the curve flatten yet
8:14am Did the curve flatten yet
9:33am Did the curve flatten yet
9:48am Cheddar Bay biscuits delivery
9:49am Did the curve flatten yet
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Dear Cereal Makers,
Exactly how tall do you think kitchen cabinets shelves are?
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Hillary Caught Using Friend’s Netflix Password
Undecideds Still On The Fence”
Me: *doing a cute TikTok dance with my grandma*
Headline reads: ‘Two Old Ladies Do TikTok Dance’
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me: in bed
boss: but i said sleep was for the weak
Me: can you come in here a second?
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Me: not for you
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Say hello to Ninja Firequeef!
From the looks of your eyebrows, your shock collar must have malfunctioned.