1) get her home by 11 p.m.
2) so we can chill
3) i have mario party
4) be my friend

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He spends all day chilling in the water.

His life is one big pool party.


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I asked my dog to marry me and he said no. I am stuck in man’s best friendzone.


girlfriend: is crying

me, an empath: im sensing that you want me to go play playstation for a while


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You’re born, you grow up, you start listening to a Pink Floyd song, you get married, have kids, you die, the song hasn’t finished.