
How to make a Disney Pixar film:
1. Take something that doesn’t talk
2. Make it talk
How to make a Disney Pixar film:
1. Take something that doesn’t talk
2. Make it talk
[talking to my guide dog]
this better be the hospital this time and not wimbledon again
[from a nearby speaker]
“FIFTEEN-LOVE”
[raises eyebrow]
[watches eyebrow graduate]
[cries at eyebrow’s wedding]
“Say TGIF ONE more time” I say, scowling at my coworker with no children, “Go ahead, say it again.”
[Command Center]
*opens map*
*traces route*
*marks intercept point*
*drives*
*waits*
*target arrives
*tackles*Liquor Delivery Guy: Again?
Commas make a big difference. For example “Don’t eat that, grandpa” has a very different meaning than “,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,”
Emoji: because sometimes a chicken, the Spanish flag, and a lesbian couple is the only way to express how you really feel.
Mom: Wanna help gift rap?
Me: In West Philadelphia born and raised on the playgro– oh you mean WRAP? Nah homegirl you’re on your own.
I eat children for a living
You what?
I said I feed children
Oh haha thought you sa-
TO MY MOUTH
When I was a kid I vowed that when I grew up my freezer would always be filled with ice cream bars.
Meet my wife, the dream killer.