@Weird_Rash
@siddo471 That awkward moment when twins realize that one of them was not planned
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@siddo471 
@timdonakowski “Crocodile after awhile.” – Yoda
@Pork_Chop_Hair 9, playing an iPad game: Weird… I accidentally did something and my character became fat.
Me: Same.
@haze103 A couple who are silly together stay together.
@joejwest COP: You seen an escaped evil octopus?
ME: No
COP: [looks up] Nice chandelier
ME: Thanks
COP: Why is it wet?
ME: Um
COP: And holding 8 guns?
@thepunningman I see Google have dropped that internet specs thing then?
“Google Glass”
I know what glass is, Catherine.
@Fred_Delicious BREAKING: Pot calls kettle “black”. “Racial tension at boiling point” says mayor of kitchen cupboard
@JohnLyonTweets The downside of having friends who love sarcasm and irony is that when we make plans I’m never entirely sure we really made plans.
@_Kim_Jongun My clothes don’t fit anymore.
There’s only one possibly explanation.
America is shrinking my clothes.
@MisterABK Black and white films:
MAN: You there, young man!
A FORTY YEAR OLD MAN: Yes?