I may be short but I sure as heck can dunk. Donut coffee dunks are my speciality.

You Might Also Like


Blood is thicker than water, but maple syrup is thicker than blood. So pancakes are more important than family. There, I said it.


I’m raising my child to believe there were only 3 ‘Star Wars’ movies.


Panty-less waxed woman hanging off a bridge “I’m gonna jump into that canoe”. Me: “No that’s your reflection”.


The only acceptable C word for describing women is Confident.

Cunts love it when you call them that.


Be a sharp dressed man. Buy a suit made of knives. Scare ur boss into promoting u. Cut everyone’s sandwiches for them in the break room.


Whenever anyone smiles at me, I change all my passwords.


WW2 started from a game of telephone when Hitler said ” I hate shoes”