@ThisOneSayz
@Elifcello Blood is thicker than water, but maple syrup is thicker than blood. So pancakes are more important than family. There, I said it.
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@Elifcello 
@Storminika Go home, Twitter. You’re drunk.
@savagehippy I’m raising my child to believe there were only 3 ‘Star Wars’ movies.
@IamEnidColeslaw life is like a box of chocolates: it kills dogs
@5OVEREIGNTY Panty-less waxed woman hanging off a bridge “I’m gonna jump into that canoe”. Me: “No that’s your reflection”.
@permawedgie The only acceptable C word for describing women is Confident.
Cunts love it when you call them that.
@KimmyMonte Be a sharp dressed man. Buy a suit made of knives. Scare ur boss into promoting u. Cut everyone’s sandwiches for them in the break room.
@HeyitsLori Whenever anyone smiles at me, I change all my passwords.
@ilovepie84 WW2 started from a game of telephone when Hitler said ” I hate shoes”
@HerculeanStren1 They’re not wrong
