What is this special type of waffle called a “Tennis racket” and why does it taste like metal wires?
I’m a kleptomaniac
It’s ok though, I’m taking something for it
You Might Also Like
Girl seeing my torn jeans
Where’d you get those?!
*remembers trying to pee on a hill & stumbling backwards through thorn bushes*
HULK WANT LOAN
Bank: We can’t loan to people like you.
*flips table into moon*
Bank: People owing 2.6B in property damage.
I still don’t unmute myself often on group calls at work, but my comically overt nodding game has never been stronger.
Top uses for Golf Balls:
1. Describing hail storms
2. Describing tumors
3. Playing golf
I’m opening a funeral home that has a bar in it. I know right?
brace yourselves, the orthodontist just died
I’m sticking to my guns.
I really should have washed my hands after I ate.
Sister: We’d love you to be our daughter’s godmother.
Me: No thank you. Please pass the syrup.