@JennyJohnsonHi5 Guess who doesn’t want to hear your kid sing? Everyone. The answer is everyone, so stop it.
@Voiceofgarth I’m not gay but I support their “agenda” – working, having a family, living in safety and fair, equal treatment.
Pretty radical shit.
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@JennyJohnsonHi5 
@YesThatAmy Define “no more Twitter or I will leave you.”
@weinerdog4life All I’m saying is if I’m not allowed to give a monkey a gun at the zoo they should have a sign.
@CandyEmpires Eggnog is perfect for when you feel like drinking a glass of pancake batter.
@ManJuggs I think I finally found your G-Spot. It’s been in my wallet the whole time.
@JimmerThatisAll Just because you have boobs doesn’t mean you’re better than I am. Unless you’re a woman.
@NickMotown I’m sure there’ll be some making distasteful jokes about Williams’ death. How annoying for them that he would have thought of funnier ones.
@TheNaique Every time a magician graduates from his school and throws his hat in the air at the convocation, PETA sues him for cruelty to rabbits.
@designersays If I show you a picture on my phone and you start scrolling, I’m gonna stab you.
@legsandsass Dog pissed about wearing cone after surgery. Dog spends night banging cone against walls, keeping human awake.
Dog-1
Human-0