@RandiLawson
@MrGeorgeWallace Good thing they had us dissect frogs in high school that prepared us for all the times in real life we’ve had to dissect frogs.
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@MrGeorgeWallace 
@markedly Spanish: The h is silent
English: Many letters can be silent
French: All letters are meaningless, every living thing is born without reason
@GeorgePointon_ Anonymously I asked kids (aged 6) to write new years resolutions. Here are some favorites…
“Eat more butter”
“Build a mud hut”
“Learn to drive”
“Try my hardest at everything but not maths”
“Make a new language”
“Invent Google”
@notfaizzy The Sun’s probably Asian.
@cschleichsrun This summer, a rom-com dares to ask the question, “Can a 9 date an 8?”
@noog Wolverine: You know what I can’t heal?
Jean: What Logan?
Wolverine: A broken heart*professor x starts laughing from the other room*
@PLATINUM2000 If you’re suddenly feeling warm and wet, it might be because I put your Voodoo doll somewhere warm and wet.
I am waiting for the day we have a national scandal involving a gate
@liz_buckley People laughed when I said I wanted to be a professional snooker player. They’re not laughing now because it was ages ago.
@KDonhoops No internet for 11 hours. I’ve written two novels, lost 15 pounds, and forgotten how to pronnounce “gif.”