You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together & there was only one life jacket, I’d miss you and think of you often.
Justin Bieber has found Jesus which means that Jesus is really great at a lot of things but hiding is not one of them.
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Wedding planning is organized crime.
Just realized my undies are on inside out .. Was gonna change them around . but I figured let the other side get sum action for a change .
Has anyone tried putting all the Wordle answers together to see if they spell out a warning
As a man, I honor Christopher Columbus every day of the year by refusing to ask for directions.
If you eat a block of cheese and do a lunge, it should balance out, right?
Actually, it was less lunge, more trip, but still.
“I don’t know why you don’t just leave him, Elaine.”
[Back To the Future, 2018]
Marty’s dad: She texted me back! What do I say??
Marty: I got it. Lemme see…*sends SpongeBob gif and immediatly starts disappearing*
fun fact: nike is short for nichael
I once saw a real bear in the wild and said “Aww, look at him!” What I’m saying is, don’t turn to me for practical thinking in an emergency.