@WoodyLuvsCoffee
@SpongeBobMovie 50 Shades of Yellow. #SpongebobMovie #SuperBowl
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@SpongeBobMovie 
@Book_Krazy Teacher: Why are you late?
Boy: My fish died.
Teacher: What fish?
Boy: You don’t know him he goes to different school.
@_SingleBabyMama After looking at pics from before my 7yr old was born she said “You’re really not as young and pretty anymore but I like how you look now because you look like my mom.”
* I mean aww sweet but also hello back handed compliment. This girl is fierce.
@AmberTozer Good thing “you only live once” has really caught on otherwise we might all kill ourselves like it’s no big deal
@geowizzacist #FF @funTweeters because they pick bloody good tweets to RT!
@Rollinintheseat I think all dads are in a secret competition to see who can sneeze the loudest.
@huntigula GUY: are u doing the mannequin challenge?
ME: [standing perfectly still w/ awkward facial expression] no this is just how I am around people
@disco_bird All firemen must dread the moment when they’re done for the day and have to find the strength to climb back up the pole.
@wife_housy Hubs says when I drink I’m “too loud” and use too many “big words.”
WELL I’M SORRY IF MY VOCIFEROUS GRANDILOQUENCE BOTHERS YOU!!
@faizziy Mehh
~Goat, sighing..