The first rule of Illiteracy Club is no reading. That was a test, and you failed. You’re failing now. You’re not welcome in Illiteracy Club.
Lucy in the Sky with Some Splainin’ to Do.
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I have a very dry sense of humor. So I drink moisturizer.
I’m deleting some dumb tweets.
I need all your passwords please.
Do you know who REALLY gets irony?
Cuz you gotta drop out to graduate!
*releases mic to float down on tiny parachute*
I’m about two tissues away from shoving a tampon up my nose.
80’s rap was like being in 5th grade and trying to find words that rhymed with “hat.”
if you watch Titanic from d back; it’s about dead people resurrecting from the sea, pulling up a ship fixing it and sailing to England
Voting was a lot more fun in the days when you got 4 snapshots for a dollar in the booth.
Hide all your naughty entertainment on VHS. Even if your kids find it, they will not know what to do with it.
Job interviewer: so what’s your greatest weakness?
Me: job interviews mostly