@bosie_diana

Math teacher; suppose you have five friends

Me:

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@kiralc

I have, a really beautiful body

under my floor boards

@GabbbarSingh

Blackberry users thought of making a joke abt the Apple-Samsung battle, but before they cud tweet thr phone hanged n battery drained out

@NikiWithIssues

You can’t give me a mini fan at work and expect me not to spend the whole morning pretending I’m a model doing a photo shoot. It’s science.

@niceboydotcom

No, autocorrect. I don’t want a shipload of marijua…actually, ya that’s fine.

@Xalqee

You know you’re an Alcoholic when you can’t even say the word “sober” without making air quotes

@TheTweetOfGod

Things will never get better until you make the conscious decision to lower your standards.

@TheDanielleRock

My 11 year old dumped his girlfriend because she was too “sassy.”

So I’m guessing my days are numbered.