@MichaelJErhart
@SortaBad Never look at the guy riding a unicycle, you’re giving him what he wants
You Might Also Like
@SortaBad 
@Okeating My husband complained that I never do a Sunday roast so I’ve spent the last hour writing jokes about his bald spot, his skinny legs and the fact that he can’t grow a beard.
@Heatinblack [Bush’s Best Bean HQ]
Security guard: sir do you have business here?
Jack: I uh I’m waiting for someone
SG: *on walkie talkie* I think we may have a bean stalker
@DocAtCDI for all you non-native English speakers out there
“read” is pronounced like “lead”
and
“read” is pronounced like “lead”
@wownicetweets I didn’t get far in Mario. I thought the guy floating on the cloud was God so I just accepted it when he threw shit at me
@OneyeBogey Plan “T” is going to work out, I have a good feeling about this one.
@TheCiscoKidder My 2yr old pointed at my crotch and said, “Big pee pee!” I’m taking him with me everywhere I go from now on.
@BoneChocolates I ain’t cray-cray, I’m inappro-pro.
@MediocreMamaa My 4yo told me he had a dream that I had another baby and now I’m retracting my statement that I want all his dreams to come true.
@behindyourback While I appreciate that you’re bringing sexy back, if we’re not also discussing who took sexy away, we’re only enabling future sexy problems