10 bucks says when Dora grows up, she’s gonna be a drug mule.
me, on the phone: haha hail satan what’s up
god: still me you didn’t click over
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One time I smashed my face into a keyboard and accidentally wrote the fifth Twilight book.
You know, my dream for gaming is where in one game you’ll shoot someone and then during a game of say Fifa you’ll see their son crying
Ok I just started watching House M.D.:
1 Does everyone gang up and beat House’s other leg?
2 does a rival Token come in to challenge Omar?
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I’m sorry, you’ll have to repeat that. I’m not fluent in nonsense.
I am much less afraid of jail when I’m drunk.
You had me at Whipped Cream Vodka.
Are people who write “prolly” rather than “probably” just lazy, completely illiterate, or do they actually think that’s a word?
I put a Justin Bieber’s song as my alarm tone and it works wonders cuz I wake up before it goes off so I don’t have to listen to that shit.