What idiot called him Steve Jobs instead of Mac Daddy
My neighbor put up like $3,000 worth of Christmas lights but I showed him by putting out a nativity scene with like 20 baby Jesuses
You Might Also Like
I’ve made 2 terrible decisions in my life and they’re both outside throwing rocks at the new neighbors.
I spent $500 on that Harvard application, damn right I framed the rejection letter.
I would like to publicly state my support for Some Sex Marriage.
I tried dusting after five energy drinks now my house is on fire.
Paris Hilton is worried ISIS will target her because she’s famous. Paris Hilton doesn’t realize that ISIS didn’t exist in 2004.
I fall in love too easily.
It’s ditches, I fall in ditches too easily
Invasion? No, the Aliens are here for an Intervention.
Doctor: [puts my arm in a sling]
Doctor: [fires my arm out the window]
Doctor: [shouting out the window] next time it’s a leg STAY OUT OF MY PARKING SPACE
I blame our unhappy marriage on my wife mostly because of her poor choice in men.