@isaiah_bb

This was maybe my favorite tweet of 2021

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@tastefactory

JOB INTERVIEWER: So what are your biggest weaknesses?
HE-MAN: Well, I-
*job interviewer’s fake mustache falls off and it’s Skeletor*

@pmclellan

Despite my rock and roll lifestyle, I’m pretty sure I’m going to die via punctured gums from a tortilla chip.

@wolfpupy

why dont they ever have plagues of endangered animals, like a plague of panda bears. oh no our entire bamboo crop is gone haha

@HughGoesThere

Writer: Got this great idea for a movie… “102 Dalmations.”
Walt Disney: That’s way too many dalmations.

@shatty48

Now that I’ve removed my windshield wipers I shouldn’t be getting anymore parking tickets.

@petemandik

If someone tells you they don’t like some particular word, do not torment them with it. To do so is totally moist.

@PlopWaffle

Executioner : Due to the power-cut we’ll be using the acoustic chair.