@UmarMaj

Three steps to start a relationship.

1- buy a sheep
2- name it “relation”
3- now you have a relationsheep.

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@NouRahif

“Axe” is not going to help you get girls, unless you spray it in their eyes then quickly chloroform them.

@_Vaginasaurus

If you give him the silent treatment, he wins. Instead, voice every single thought that pops into your head until he kills himself.

@WilliamAder

I wonder if the dinosaurs were this goofy when they had their extinction level event.

@torrami

All the kings horses and all the kings men probably feel like they’re being grossly underutilized with that whole egg thing.

@dlicj

*holds “bunny ears” over someone’s head for five hours as they have their portrait painted*

@TheBlessMess

My gang hand signals look a lot like the finger in the hole motion, followed by the call me gesture.

@UnFitz

This nation more divided than ever.
I just saw a tweet in support of raisins.