Three steps to start a relationship.

1- buy a sheep
2- name it “relation”
3- now you have a relationsheep.

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“Axe” is not going to help you get girls, unless you spray it in their eyes then quickly chloroform them.


If you give him the silent treatment, he wins. Instead, voice every single thought that pops into your head until he kills himself.


I wonder if the dinosaurs were this goofy when they had their extinction level event.


All the kings horses and all the kings men probably feel like they’re being grossly underutilized with that whole egg thing.


*holds “bunny ears” over someone’s head for five hours as they have their portrait painted*


My gang hand signals look a lot like the finger in the hole motion, followed by the call me gesture.


This nation more divided than ever.
I just saw a tweet in support of raisins.