@dudehugs

TUPAC IS DEAD
BIGGIE IS DEAD
AND ME ALSO I AM FEELING NOT SO GOOD

You Might Also Like

@lilhungrymang

A girl drinks 4 cosmos over a span of 60 minutes. 25 mins later, she texts 3 of her besties. How many emojis will she use? Show your work.

@jus4golf

No kid, you don’t have it hard. When I was a kid we had to eat without camera phones.

@Ginjarella

You people who pull back the shower curtain checking for psycopathic murderers … if you find one, what’s your plan?

@SabyForrester

“Did you get a haircut?”
“No, I dyed the tips of my hair invisible…”

@Havish_AF

I’m sorry you think my tweets are shitty. You probably shouldn’t have inspired them.

@RadWizzy

“Treat her like a princess” everybody said.

Then they get mad when I marry her off to a cousin from a neighboring country for political gain.

@stephenjmolloy

Undertaker: “What do you want your husbands gravestone to say?”
Wife: “Nothing. I want a traditional, non-talking one.”

@AnOrangeSNES

[Restaurant]

Waiter: Compliments of the chef.
*He opens silver platter and post-it notes with the words ‘You’re beautiful’ pour out*

@T_Bonezzz_

I get it, rotisserie chicken.

I hate it when people stare at me too