Best translation fail. The arabic spells out a transliteration of ‘meat ball’ in English – which sounds like ‘mayit baul’, or Dead Paul.
You Might Also Like
*twirls fork through hair*
So, is it is really murder if you stab them when they stand between you and your cake?
I was dissapointed when I called a taxidermist and he pulled up in a regular car.
[paleontology class]
PROFESSOR: can anyone tell me the period in which dinosaurs went extinct?
STUDENT: uh the Jurassic?
PROFESSOR: bingo!
STUDENT: *smug look*
PROFESSOR: *marking paper* I just finished my dumb answers bingo, it was the Cretaceous
Everyone out here workin’ on their cores and I’m just tryna get as close as possible to the drive thru window so I don’t have to stretch.
*sends you a 13-page love letter & introduces you to my parents in order to scare your hiccups away*
*you’re cured*
him: can i be honest?
me: not from what i’ve seen.
I have a favorite Telehealth doctor I talk to a lot. I said, “I think I’m dying.” She said, “You’re not dying.” I said, “How do you know?” She said, “Because you keep calling me.”
Exercise makes you look better naked, so does tequila, choose wisely my friends
Girlfriend just called me by my full given name.This is gonna end poorly.
Life is short. If you have a crush on someone, walk right up to them then a little past them and just keep going it’s probably not worth it
While staying at hotels, I always ask for the oil stained parking lot view
Wife: Have you seen my razor?
Me: [with only one eyebrow] I have not
[on the way home]
Me: I have some tea to share with you
13, looking super confused: can, can I have it?
Me: no, tea as in like gossip
13: what, what brand is that?
looking for someone who loves me as much as some people love standing up the second a plane lands.
The courtroom I’m in this morning is astonishingly relaxed, and the judge looks like a kid cosplaying as a judge. Doogie Howser, J.D.
* Puts leftover pizza in the work fridge at 7am
My brain at 7:04:
eat the pizza eat the pizza eat the pizza eat the pizza eat the pizza eat the pizza eat the pizza eat the pizza eat the pizza eat the pizza eat the pizza eat the pizza
[inventing facebook]
Everyone: My family isn’t racist.
Mark Zuckerburg: Oh ahahahahaha
“And to my heirs, I will leave all this….”
*gestures toward 146 half-full nail polishes, all roughly the same color
Neighbor: It’s July, you need to take down the xmas lights.
Me: It’s no worse than your stupid yard gnome.
Neighbor: That’s my wife.
“We’re still looking for a side project”
Tornado: *raises hand* we could flip houses
“We’ve been over this, it’s not what you think it is”
The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to speak to the manager.
[mom ridiculing me in front of new GF]
“Luke was afraid to go into family changing rooms until 22 because he thought he’d get a new family”
Raise the roof!
The roof is on fire!
Hit the club!
Bust those moves!
Burning the dance floor!– RL partying sounds so violent
Everyone complains about the weather but noone’s sacrificing a virgin to change it either.
Honestly, ladies, pockets aren’t all that they’re hyped up to be.
*finding the car key fob in three pieces in the dryer
Well I’m not really sure why you put “Baby: Ages 0-6” on your resume, but more importantly, why were you a baby for so long
WARNING: Ham radios taste nothing like ham!
Make new friends? bro out of what?
“I love you. I’d do anything for you.”
-let me see your phone real quick
“You’re smothering me. I need some space”
*Crosses fingers*
*Fingers plan their revenge*