If we spell Jeff as Geoff then why not
– Geosh
– Georemy
– Geonathan
– Geonnifer
– Geacob
– Jreg
You Might Also Like
Legend has it if u whisper IKEA 3x in the mirror an extra screw will appear & you’ll be haunted by the piece of furniture you ill-assembled.
coworker: you’re driving the wrong way! the office is the other way
me: *smacks bungee cords attached to my car* my goals are beyond your understanding
Heard my dog talking to a chipmunk out on the deck, and I’m positive I overheard “nothing much, just getting some air, the whole place smells like wet human”
People who put a strip of bacon on a donut, where does it end? You wanna put a braised lambshank on my cupcake? Why don’t I open up my chocolate croissant and you can shove a live trout in it
My therapist thinks meeting women on twitter for sex is a bad idea. His wife disagrees.
*puts on ice skates*
so.. what am I supposed to do with these again?
*walks over a pizza to slice it*
there has to be a better way
The inventor of Chapstick died today. Unfortunately his body was lost while being transferred to the morgue.
[watching a sex scene with my parents] You guys ever try that?
Getting lucky during a pandemic means I just scored the last bag of doritos in the grocery store.
Me: *yells something
Wife: I can’t hear you
Me: *whispers something under my breath
Wife: I heard that!!
Pro tip:
Ask your boss if you can go home early since you’re not going to do anything anyways.
In case you ever worry you spend to much money on dumb things you should know they’re still making Grey’s Anatomy
They add a scent to natural gas so we can smell it if there’s a leak and we’re in danger. Same reason Axe Body Spray has a scent.
My sister got a job as the assistant to an incompetent magician and now she’s my half sister
[at the hunting store]
Me: where’s the camo gear?
Clerk [winks]: exactly
I just saw a guy put deodorant on before walking into an adult bookstore.
I kinda want to date him now.
The Job Interview:
HR: So you are bilingual?
Me: Si
HR: In your native tongue please.
Me: Ooga Booga
Don’t waste electricity. Would you
like it if I turned you on and walked
away?
How to fall downstairs……
Step 1
Step 6
Step 9,10,11,12
Divorce… The most common home improvement project.
does anyone want to marry me before this website dies, feels like my best shot x
I explained ‘gluten allergy’ to my grandma and she sighed and told me they ate leather belts during WWII to keep from starving
My toliet has a lifetime guarantee! I never have to buy another one. When I die, my kid will inherit the throne. It’ll be like Shakespeare!
watch only the first and last episodes of How I Met Your Mother. you’re welcome
My favorite part about Black Friday is the part where I go to the mall, find a great parking spot & sit in my car with the reverse lights on
Today I was on the treadmill for over an hour. I was so pleased with my progress that tomorrow I might actually turn it on
Curling is an Olympic sport.
What about Straightening ?There are women who can do
amazing things with a flat iron.
As a parent, I spend far too much time identifying what’s stuck to the ceiling.
[Safari]
“Remember, when you’re near water beware of wild hippos.”Don’t worry, I’m prepared for that.
*shows handful of white marbles*