Mistletoe, poinsettias, and holly berries are all toxic plants that can potentially be harmful to humans and pets.
Here’s a great idea, let’s decorate our house with them for Christmas!
You Might Also Like
Favourite diary entry ever
I got flipped off three times by the same woman during rush hour today. I’m never driving my wife to work again.
After having received my free sample of winter, I would like to cancel my subscription please
Accidentally deleted an invitation to join LinkedIn from a friend. I doubt I’ll ever get an opportunity like that again.
I’ve never used the word culvert in a sentence. Well, until now.
Learning just enough german words to yell so I can scare my neighbors
ATTENTION MEN: STOP BUYING YOUR GIRLFRIEND FLOWERS AND PERFUME FOR VALENTINE’S DAY AND GET HER WHAT SHE REALLY WANTS. A SWORD
Why is it called an everything bagel and not a bagall.
I’m vegan now but I’m still gonna eat eight spiders a year on cheat days
My 4yo thinks you age a whole year in one night, so she’s scrutinizing me closely for any changes today. I’m tempted to put on a bald cap or blacken out some teeth.
Edward Scissorhands is the story of someone who can’t help cutting and poking holes in everything he loves. It’s about a cat.
[Interview]
“Why’d you leave ur last job?”
My boss felt threatened by me
[Flashback to juggling lighters after dousing boss in gasoline]
When a grammar Nazi gets sad give them a hug and say “There, their, they’re.”
I can never tell if a woman’s smiling at me because she’s interested or if it’s just my hot dog costume
No thanks Ice Bar. If anyone wants to get me inside a freezer they’re gonna have to murder me first.
Judge: plz tell the court what happened
Victim: he attacked me with this! [holds up pasta strainer]
Judge: that doesn’t hold any water
[son comes running into our room]
“Dad, there’s a monster in my room!”
Look, Marky, what-
“Mikey.”
Right, Mikey. What makes u think I care?
GUIDE: If you see a bear, just make yourself big
[Months later]
DOCTOR: You weigh 300 kilosME [mouthful of donuts] I saw a bear
Dude warned me he doesn’t always respond to texts right away.
It’s been 476 days. Dude wasn’t playin
her: there’s a spider in the bath
me: ok I’ll get him a little towel
Judge: I don’t think you understand the gravity of the situation
Me: *floating*
Anyone else’s grandma used to slip them a five dollar bill like the mob bribing a witness not to testify?
“…just don’t tell your mother.”
Black and white films:
MAN: You there, young man!
A FORTY YEAR OLD MAN: Yes?
After dinner the other husbands and I retire to the garage and silently take turns climbing my new ladder.
*getting murdered* omg stop you can get in a lot of trouble for this.
I think my daughter is starting to take a dim view of Santa because she’s asking things like “can the elves leave if they want” and “does he help make toys or does he just sit there”
Halloween decorating with a 6yo is fun. You get to say things like “no cobwebs on the dog” and “no we’re not putting pumpkins on the roof.”
there are some wounds only potatoes can heal