Why are top brands getting more attention while your unique, innovative ideas stay underrated? Here is some #ThursdayAdwisdom. The truth is that you may be missing out on one of the most fundamental rules of selling – grabbing consumer’s interest. #digitalmarketing
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every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun
[landlord walks in apartment]
“I told you no pets!”That’s a stray gerbil.
“And those fish??”
…stray fish. SHOO FISH, SCRAM
I always forget that Justin Bieber is Canadian, and then I remember that one of his biggest hits was called “Sorry”.
Boy: call me daddy 😉
Me:
Van Gone
What i said : I really like this song
What i meant : Shut your face for the next few minutes
If Shakespeare were alive today, he’d write a tragedy about the fate of the single French fry that comes with every order of onion rings.
My grandfather just figured out what instagram is so now he says “#nofilter” after every casually racist comment he makes.
*hops in time machine*
him: where ya going?
me: 1988..this kid roasted me and I said oh yeah well shutup and BOY DO I HAVE THE BEST COMEBACK NOW
Discovered 24 long forgotten beers in the basement refrigerator so I’m about to crack a cold case.
Is my kitchen floor clean enough to eat off? No. Does that prevent me from eating off it? Also no.
Do you like water? Yes? Well, then you already like 60% to 70% of me.
My toddler just told me that she’s my best friend.
Then she told me that the toilet is also my best friend.
She’s right about both.
[cat hospital]
Cat Nurse: Let’s get you prepped for surgery. *licks patient all over*
I like that the doctor always asks if I’m a smoker. When I say yes, he tells me I should quit.
No shit? Thanks. Here’s all my money.
I picked up 13 from a function tonight and he brought back a whole pizza left over. I ate a slice on the way home. Then I realized oh shit I’m 40 and oh shit it’s 9pm.
[at punchbowl]
Me: You go ahead.
Lady: No, I insist.
Me: Together, then?
*we both pour vodka from our purses in*
Asked my dad and uncle why they weren’t chatting and my uncle goes “we’re done chatting for today” and my dad nods and they continue watching tv in silence
The two types of wives
Welcome to middle age.
Don’t bother looking at the weather forecast; your joints will let you know when it’s going to rain.
On average I spend about $80 a year to watch bananas turn brown.
Life is short. If you have a crush on someone, walk right up to them then a little past them and just keep going it’s probably not worth it
reviewed some movies recently
I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.
My kid was struggling to solve a complex math problem and tried unsuccessfully to ask Alexa for help. Being the responsible parent I am, I explained the best way to crowdsource a solution is to post the wrong answer on Reddit and 500 peeps will correct you in minutes.
cornerman: get in there and hit him right between the eyes
boxer: but there’s SO many eyes
mr. potato head: *cracks knuckles*
who wants to go expliring
Why is it called “getting your car fixed” and not “autocorrect”
Twitter should have ” Throwing tomato” button.