Meow should be an acceptable answer to any question that can’t be answered with yes or no. For example:
-What’s your favorite colour?
-Meow
Now you’re thinking there isn’t such a colour, but you don’t know all colours, and new colours are born every day, so..
You Might Also Like
I remember when I was 12, dad caught me smoking a ham; so to teach me a lesson he made me smoke an entire herd of piglets.
school taught me a lot of useless stuff but nothing tops state capitals. if i’m ever in a career that depends on me knowing where Delaware’s governor works i have made some serious missteps in life
sleep paralysis demon: why are there so many cups in this room???
Thanks to a hangover, I was the douche wearing sunglasses inside the airport today.
Galentine’s Day? Friendsgiving? Cinco de Drinko? Friyay?
Take me now, covid.
priest: you may now kiss the pride
me: excuse me?
priest: *motions to the other side of the altar where 7 to 8 lions with lipstick wait*
I’m suspicious of people who don’t like dogs…But I totally trust a dog when it doesn’t like a person.
“Bears are omnivores so if you think about it, eating porridge makes perfect sense.”
my date: *heavy sigh* “Ok. Do you have a second favorite book?”
We weren’t going to post a joke about mail, but sometimes you just gotta send it.
Me (drunk): I was over served tonight
Friend: aren’t you home alone?
Me: OVER SERVED!
MIDDLE EAST: How can we stop ISIS?
EUROPE: How can we save our economy?
AMERICA: What color is this dress?!
*gazing at the ocean*
God: I told you NOT to leave the water on while we were on vacation.
Angel: I’m sorr-
God: SORRY DOESN’T FIX THIS MESS
don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry
– me taking a joke
Me [a pilgrim]: better wear a belt on my hat so it doesn’t fall down
[zoo]
GUIDE: i told you not to feed the monkeys
ME: it’s a cigar
BUZZFEED: Is Internet Clickbait Dumbing Down Society?
Lick your fingers & stick them in a power socket to learn the shocking answer.
With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.
*scrolls ur TL*
*finds ur tweet from 2 yrs ago.*
*eerily similar to mine from day before*“She stole my tweet AND built a time machine?!”
Wife: I’m heading to the store.
Me: Why?! The roads are super icy.
Wife: We’re out of beer.
Me: Drive really carefully.
doctor: you’re going to di-
me: disney?
doctor: no
If anyone asks I got this cardigan from a vending machine
Hear me out:
A tampon that yells “OH YEAH” in the Kool-Aid man’s voice when it’s full
I’m “made an ashtray in art even though my parents don’t smoke because that was the assignment” years old.
[Busy ER]
Patient: So what happens after this?
Me: [stares into distance] Some think heaven. Some think nothing happens. Possibly even limbo until some higher power decides your fate
Patient: So…I meant what happens now you’ve requested an inpatient bed for me?
Me: Oh. Same.
Taco Bell doesn’t have a playground because its hard to have fun when you might shit your pants
OMG, MY DAUGHTER IS DYING!
Oh, my bad, it’s just her reaction to having to do a chore.
new tattoo]
them: cool! what is it?
me: it’s an abstract depiction of beauty; the juxtaposition of the lyrical and the grotesque[after 50 people had asked]
them: what is it?
me: it’s a squirrel
[shows jury picture of gruesome murder scene]
*they all gasp*
That was my initial reaction too. Those shoes with those pants?
the worst part about being vegan is having to get up early to milk the almonds
[trying to avoid awkward silence on first date]
you ever see a horse throw up?
“no”
*smiles and turns phone sideways so video gets bigger*