People like Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. How about more movie character restaurants? I have some suggestions:
Samwise’s Lord of the Wings
Tyler Durden’s Chowder House
Goose’s Gastropub (tagline: We feel the need… the need to feed!)
Short Round’s Tempura of Doom
Hannibal’s
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me: how did he die?
him: he was attacked by a gang of geese
me: gaggle?
him: no I think it was a stabbing
Me: For my 1st wish I want a box of Triscuits
Genie:Are u sure? U can buy them at any store
Me:My 2nd wish is for u to mind ur own business
ME: I got us a penguin!
WIFE: Why would you think I’d want a penguin??
PENGUIN: Maybe not everything is about what you want.
ME: *Points at penguin* That. Yes.
Oh you’re a fan of Oppenheimer? Name three bombs
8 has had his harmonica for barely a week and is already recording tutorials for his ‘fans’ so if anyone would like a class on how to sound like a cat choking on another cat hit me up
Facebook post: Sad news. Mom passed away this morning.
Facebook: Be the first person to like this.
It says here on your resume that you’re “good at traps,” could you expand on that while I investigate this pile of leaves on the floor?
I did 1 single thing on my to-do list today which means now I get to watch 11 hours of TV
My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.
me *choking*
dog *grabs the sandwich I dropped and brings it to her bed*
yesterday my wife sent me to the garage to see if i could find some wd40 & two hours later i managed to disable our sprinkler system & start a small brush fire inside the washing machine
If people post just two more scripture quotes on Facebook, I will have officially read the entire bible.
When I die, just throw the laundry in my grave with me. I want to die exactly as I lived.
Sometimes I wish I understood what some of you said and sometimes I am happy that I don’t.
If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.
If I ever only have 3 months to live, I want my ex wife to be with me. That would be the longest 3 months of my life.
He also looks really rough for a 4 year old
Nothing gets my Batman voice going quite like seeing my kid put a third pair of socks into the hamper before noon.
“you’re too polite”
I am not
[two weeks earlier while my house is being robbed] sorry he doesn’t usually bark at strangers
Men: Remember that time…
Women: Yes
Don’t get it. Heard the phrase “keep your friends clothes & keep your enemies clothes, sir”. Now I have a bunch of naked people angry at me.
u spoke cat all this time??????
He said I’d love to look into that beautiful brain of yours.
I said, ok but it’s just like watching a squirrel running through traffic trying to get to the other side really.
And they say flirting is hard.
*eats Big Mac meal*
*has two ice cream cones for dessert*
*drives by gym**wonders why new diet and fitness plan isn’t working*
Good morning to everyone except people that sit right beside me when there are lots of other seats open.
IT guy: what seems to be the problem
me: hi uhh my computer won’t turn off and back on again
IT guy: [covers phone] what do I do
customarily, clothes go in the hamper not next to it
I love meeting new people. Not you. Don’t touch me.
Gonna hand out job applications to teenage trick-or-treaters who ring my doorbell.