*reading* 160 calories *thinking* Let me break it down to see how much I should eat. *reading and thinking* The can is 14.2 ounces, the serving size is 245 grams and the servings per container are about 3.
And we wonder why America is getting fat.
MATH
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Dad: [enters chugging a Monster] SLEEP IS DEAD. GET A JOB.
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If Kevin Bacon didn’t acknowledge his kids as “Bacon Bits” I’ll be forever disappointed.
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1. Swap it out with a Labrador pup when no one’s looking
*at adoption center*
“Okay yeah they’re all great and all, but which one is the most photogenic for Facebook and stuff like that”
Barney: [skipping pebbles across the lake]
Fred: MY DAUGHTER!
I walked outside and my glasses fogged up so I went inside to switch to contacts and stay there until October.
Not sure why my doctor prescribed LSD for a case of constipation…until I saw those dragons and totally shit my pants.
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when your ex needs to go to space about it, you won the divorce
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Do you think you’d make a good sniper?
[ ] Yes •
[ ] No •
•
•
•
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