One of the coolest things about superhero films is that they can be any genre.
Science fiction? Guardians of the Galaxy.
Fantasy? Doctor Strange.
Sleep aid? Eternals.
You Might Also Like
A work from home email:
Dear mom,
Per my last email, I would love a grilled cheese for lunch, at your earliest convenience. Please advise.
Best,
Gwynn Ballard
Manager of House Operations
The early 2000s
My friends: I met a boy in a chat room, he was so cool
Me: *having just roleplayed a sword wielding, scarred half elf in a tavern chat room* yes I also very boys
Me: “I have octopus like reflexes.”
Person: “Don’t you mean cat like reflexes?”
Me: *squirting him with ink* “Nope.”
“Draw me like one of your Trash girls”
BEEKEEPER: *opens up beehive and finds a peanut butter and jelly sandwich* If that’s here…
KID: *opens up lunchbox in school cafeteria*
Finding a guy to marry who is rich enough to pay off my debt, but not so rich he wants a prenup is, like, so much harder than I anticipated.
She lied to me. Just like the resealable cheese industry.
Me: Do not ‘K’ me again.
Daughter: Que
Me: In any language.
Her: SiThis is why I’m crazy.
Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing for shit?
Looking for a new spicy potato chip?
-Hot Pringles in your area
Me: thanks for the invite but I’m really not much of a partier haha
Friend: it’s a search party for my missing wife
[wife crosses out another baby name off the list]
What? What’s wrong with Carlos Danger Grenades?
Your metabolism after age 40 is like, “Nah, I like you fat.”
Practice makes perfect, unless you suck.
[marriage counseling]
We just don’t see eye to eye
“Because you insist on wearing that stupid pirate hat”
YOU WILL ADDRESS ME AS CAPTAIN
[field sobriety test]
cop: stand with one foot off the ground and count 1001, 1002, and so on until I say stop
flamingo: oh hell yeah
Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.
My hobby is removing unnecessary apostrophes from business signs in the dead of night
No toddler in the world would ever pass a field sobriety test
*all the Avengers line up to face Thanos*
THANOS: who’s the purple guy
IRON MAN: that’s Hawkeye
THANOS: oh
THOR: he shoots arrows
THANOS: like magical ones?
CAPTAIN AMERICA: *pauses* just regular ones
THANOS: I see
HAWKEYE: you guys know I can hear you right
I was on a date and a Tampax Pearl fell out of the girl’s purse at the restaurant and I got so awkward because I’ve never dated a rich girl before.
Wow! This Child Actress is All Grown Up, and You Won’t Believe How Much She Hates Your Obsession With What She Looks Like Now:
I don’t want to brag but my mom said when I played soccer I was the best at watching the grass grow.
Jumped off the couch so fast when the microwave dinged that I’m now eligible for the draft.
I learned everything I need to know from cats. When things get sketchy, run like hell and then stop and groom yourself
I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.
I like it when squirrels pop their dumb heads up in the middle of the street like “did I lock the tree?”
[restaurant]
Waiter: Chicken?
Me: No I’ll fight you RIGHT NOW
What if I don’t take meds?
Dr: Depression
What are the side effects of meds?
Dr: Depression
What if I stop taking the meds?
Dr: Depression
Girls adore it when you guess their weight as they walk by.