If a gifted child is put up for adoption, is he a regifted child?
You Might Also Like
When the moon hits your eye like 3.14 Pi
That’s the ratio of its circumference to its diameter
Run yourself luxurious baths, while you’re still young and fit to climb in and out!
Hey teachers, stop giving my kids homework that includes stuff for me to do. I HAVE ALREADY GRADUATED.
Sincerely, every parent everywhere.
“It rubs the lotion on the skin so it can get the hose again.”
I say to my kids, slathering them in sunscreen before going in the sprinkler
Marrying a person isn’t the only way to get someone to take your name, there’s also identity theft #MondayMotivation
Her: All day long I’ve had the strangest feeling that someone’s ….. watching me.
Me: Why, do you hear laughter?
Saw a teen couple buying condoms in the pharmacy so I let my grandbaby run around their feet & whispered ‘that’s the brand my daughter used’
My family’s superpower is filling the recycle bin within 5 minutes of me emptying it.
I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.
I’ve seen:
•UFOs
•Ghosts
•A Two Headed Turtle
•Kimodo DragonsBut nothing is as unbelievable to me as seeing Trump run for president.
(me, as a caveman, inventing religion):
what if there’s a giant sky man who will be like super pissed if you don’t give me money
person: there’s a new study showing that being optimistic might cause people to live longer
me *on my deathbed: I doubt it
Twitter makes possible so many amazing things we couldn’t do before. Like trolling the Nazis:
You can imagine my embarrassment when I was escorted out of the herpetologists office by police because he isn’t an std doctor
@thefunnytweeter With the way my diet is going, I think I’ll be much more slimmer after this quarantine.
My 6yo just told me that because I need music to get motivated that makes me ‘radioactive’
corn maze employee: you can’t smoke in here
me: [flicking lighter] stand back, i’m popping my way out
Standing behind a hot guy on a treadmill saying ‘don’t worry baby, I’ll catch you if you fall’ makes him run for a really really long time
11-year-old: I folded the laundry.
Me: You only folded one thing.
11: Is laundry plural?
AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.
Him: what’s your favorite season?
Me: Reese’s Egg Season
I could’ve chosen a life of crime but it seems like it would interfere with my 9pm bedtime.
You see some crazy stuff when you’re out late at night smearing raccoon blood on your neighbours windows.
Netflix and we’ll have to call my ex to get the password.
Sorry I’m late, I was untangling my AirPods.
I once told my mom that being the youngest child wasn’t so great because I got the least amount of time with her before she dies.
Just to show that my dark side comes from a loving place.
Teacher: I’m worried because your daughter keeps spelling her name T-R-M-N-L.
Me: but I just taught her how to spell PAIGE.
Teacher: tell me what you told her.
Me: P as in Pterodactyl, A as in Artist, I as in Imaginary, G as in Gnat, and E as in Elephant.
Actually, Kara, love is an illusion created by chemical reactions. The most powerful force in the world is the invisible hand of the market.
me: interested in how the sun shines in our new apartment
boyfriend:
The extreme internal pressure from my intelligence is forcing my hair follicles to fall out …. No one believes me