Inside the heads of four JCrew models.
You Might Also Like
In 1999 this man was asked to reenact his recent lottery win for TV and ended up winning again on camera
Neat! according to this Walgreens blood pressure monitor, i should have died in 1998
Website: Make a password
Me: Ok
Website: Make it STRONGER so you don’t get HACKED
Me: Wow alright
Website: Damn that’s a strong password
[1 Week Later]
Website: You got hacked
Me: But my password was so strong
Website: Yeah the whole site got hacked. Our bad
Feb 14th іs for lovers. Feb 15th іs for lovers of hаlf prіce cаndy.
Boss: what should we call the lower cabinet in the corner that swivels?
Bonnie (who hates Susan): I have an idea.
I spoke to my husband earlier
He seemed quite nice
Select the reason for canceling your order:
◽️Item(s) would not arrive on time
◽️Need to change shipping address
☑️ I was drunk
[pet therapy]
THERAPIST: ok slow
ME: *pets 2 dogs*
T: just 1
M: *pets 3 dogs*
T: Nurse, restrain him, he’s
M: *pets 4 dogs*
T: roverdosing
Whoa new Barbie movie cast is stacked
*kid finds Easter Basket
Noodles, sauce, cheese, meat, what’s going on dad?
“What else you get?!”
A lasagna recipe..
“Great make dinner”
2008- This Master’s degree is going to change my life!
2019- I’ve got the worst pajamas in this dollar store.
I’m fckn weak!!!!!! 💀
Dentist: Mike, you really don’t need to get undressed when you get in the chair.
Me: Oh, no, it’s no problem really. I don’t mind.
Boss: Are you high?
[Me watching him evaporate] I hope so.
Dearest Twitter,
Man Flu hath landed upon mine shores.Scientifically proven to be a reality, tis lethal a condition that can befall any man. The lady companion of two decades denies its very existence and scorns my plight. Woe unto me and all men who find themselves afflicted.
That hospital class on parenting I took didn’t include enough wrestling tips.
“how did people keep up with TV before the internet?” my young friend, we didn’t need phones. if you missed an episode, there would be one person in every classroom the next morning re-enacting the plot like a town crier.
Why do you even see a psychologist? They they are just people that weren’t smart enough to be psychics.
Interviewer: What’s your biggest weakness?
Me: I don’t know when to quit.
Interviewer: You’re hired!
Me: I quit.
“Playing soccer in the cold builds character, son!” I yelled…
…from inside my warm car, because it’s COLD & I already have character.
[running amok in flames]
WHY ARE INFLAMMABLE THINGS FLAMMABLE!?
On your first day as a new parent, walk up to your baby and cry louder than it to assert your dominance.
Swarming gnats, but instead of annoying you, they provide compliments. “You look pretty.” “Dinner was delicious.” “Way to handle that difficult coworker, Chris. We hate her.”
I drive my brother’s BMW because I can only afford to borrow a midlife crisis.
very demi lovato saying their favorite dish is a mug because it can hold hot liquids
I bet newlyweds never wonder if their spouse is snoring that loud on purpose
Me {sweating profusely}: help! i’m stranded in the dessert!
Him: don’t you mean desert?
Me: {only a hand sticking up from the pudding}
What ever happened to simple filters like Black and white or Sepia? Now I need to choose from Funfetti Hufflepuff or Pixie Rave Donkey Punch.
*Girl comes out in a slinky dress*
ME: Ooh that looks like fun
*I push her down the stairs*
waiter: we don’t allow giraffes in here sir
me: I’m not a giraffe
waiter: I know I’m just telling you