Anthropic principle: the universe must be as it is in order for us to perceive it
Anthropomorphic principle: look, I’m a talking principle!
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Snacking on regular m&m’s and peanuts because I refuse to have my chocolate to peanut ratio dictated by some big corporation
Person: Did you see Top Gun with Tom Cruise?
Me: He was busy that day. I saw it with somebody else.
Accidentally threw out the lid of the ice cream. Now I’ve no choice but to eat it all.
Got very excited when I saw that Mastodon was trending. Was quite disappointed to discover that it had nothing to do with prehistoric animals.
Every Independence Day I get a little bit disappointed when aliens don’t try to take over the world.
Marriage is saying “they’re both the same” while secretly knowing that one bowl of ice cream is slightly better than the other bowl of ice cream
People think I’m a good listener but I’m really just solid at nodding
People who make up phrases and try to pass them off as popular sayings are just throwing meat to the monkeys in the middle of a maelstrom.
😂😂😂
We interrupt this moment of self-isolation to focus on my withdrawals & strained relationship with my local bakery.