Anybody here really good at Wheel of Fortune? I need help figuring out a drunk dm.
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Word find for ghosts:
O o O o O o O o O o O
o O o O o O o O o O o
O o O o O o O o O o O
o O o O o O o O o O o
O o O o O o O o O o O
o O o O o O o O o O o
Ladies, he’s not working late. He’s trying to steal the declaration of independence. Stay woke
one time my grandma told me about a secret menu at burger king that involved a police escort to a second burger king
rich people are like we have to disguise the refrigerator
my premium snap prices:
-pics of me crying: $5
-videos of me crying: $10
-videos of me crying in the mirror while throwing the peace sign: $15
Date: I love chicken
Me [trying to impress]: I’m actually a HUGE coward
if you find yourself struggling creatively take a step back and realize that you are also struggling financially so at least you’re consistent
Gross, who put proof in this pudding?
Cop cars aren’t very intimidating. Add a crazy plow covered in blood, an anarchy symbol and spinning saw blades and I’ll stop in a heartbeat
No selfies while hijacking a train.
The downside of studying law: you think a lawsuit is the solution to all problems. *resists from threatening Dominos for not giving oregano*
A company decided to stop paying its drivers, so one of them parked his truck on the owners Ferrari & left it there.
“No! Don’t go into the church! Nooo!”
“Honey, what movie are you watching?”
“Our wedding video.”
I want a hallmark movie where the city girl goes home to save the family business, and realizes her hometown and her high school sweetheart still suck after all these years
hey boy, are you my period? because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly
I shaved my legs.
Well except for those three knee hairs I always miss.Looking good Larry, Daryl and Daryl.
Heard my mom tell my dad to “stop tossing her salad” at the dinner table and now I can’t look at either one of them without laughing…
The reason cats are so pissy is they’re God’s perfect killing machines but they only weigh 8lbs and we keep picking them up and kissing them
“When a girl says ‘Awww Thanks!’, it means she’s politely asking you to return to the friend zone that you just tried to escape from.”
Whenever I start to feel old, I just remind myself I’m still young enough to play a teenager on Beverly Hills 90210.
If you haven’t left a store carrying your screaming kid surfboard style you’re not really parenting.
Calling me stupid is uncool unless you are my parents. They earned it.
At bedtime I read my daughter a few of my favorite RTs, tuck her in & whisper, “This is why we don’t talk to strangers on the internet.”
I was eating BBQ ribs and my waitress asked me if I wanted a wet nap…
…I told her it wasn’t necessary because I had one earlier today.
Hobbies include:
1. Crying about the past
2. Procrastinating in the present
3. Worrying about the future
Me, when son comes for the weekend from college: I can’t wait to make a good dinner for him.
Me, when finding out his classes will be all online next quarter: Shit, now I have to cook more!
44.65
*click*
44.87*click*
44.96*click*
44.98*click*
44.99*click*
45.01~ gas pumps
Is….Is this an option?
I’m two types of woman. One who is extremely hard on herself & one who can’t stop giggling because she just said hard on.