I overheard my neighbor tell someone on the phone that I was creepy.
I was so mad I almost crawled out from under the bed & confronted her.
Cell phones ruined the fun of pushing a fully clothed person into a pool.
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If we all winked, laughed out loud, stuck out our tongues and blew kisses in real life as much as we do in texts…it would be very creepy.
“I < 3 You” means I’m smaller than 3 of you.
Conservatives should be allowed to say whatever they want once they’re in the camps.
Starbucks? Yes I’d like a tepid mug of milk froth please. My name’s Adam, but you can call me Aldin.
I know blood in horror movies is just corn syrup, but it’s still terrifying because at this point, that’s basically all my blood is
Where someone will eventually figure out how to fry Vodka
Who called it a scale and not a weigh of life?
Damn girl, are you my Boy Scout troop leader? Cause you’re making me pitch a tent.
Why can’t the T-Rex clap it’s hands? Because it’s extinct.