@YesThatAmy
@OhHellsYes I need a car. Hiding in people’s trunks and hoping they’re going to Wal-Mart isn’t working out for me.
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@OhHellsYes 
@scootergonscoot McDonald’s just offered me a coupon book to promote the mcrib in a tweet?? Lmao no thanks,, im not THAT cheap. Not like the McDonald’s™️ McRib™️ sandwich. So tangy. So delicious. A little slab of heaven for a mere $2.99 now available for a limited time only
@shatty48 Some people are looking for the meaning of life. I’m still looking for the meaning of I licky boom boom down.
@PinkCamoTO I’m all for the scientific method.
Right now I’m experimenting to see how much swearing makes other parents stop inviting you to things.
@OhNoSheTwitnt If Pokémon has taught me anything it’s that if I see a cute animal I should force my cat to fight it until it’s weak enough to enslave.
@TheRealPalMal Isn’t anyone here that can fake a football convo like me:
“He’s showing signs of improving”
“He’s a beast”
“He just has to keep those interceptions low”
“It’s been a wild season”
“Yeah they’re so stacked”
“Yeah that offensive line”
Lol I don’t know shit about football.
@julescategory5 My 5-year-old just muttered “Time for plan L.”
I don’t know what plans A through K were, but it sounds like he’s having a worse day than me
@SlipperySecret April is alcohol awareness month…..I think we’re all aware.
Cheers!
@Shade510 Me: Shhhhh. Keep it quiet…I’ll slip out of bed and find you around 3:00 am.
Leftover Pie:
@Independent Windows 10 has an extremely unhelpful error message
