So, we tip the pizza delivery guy, but not ambulance drivers.
First, that jerk cut me off in traffic, then he stole my parking space, and then his stupid car got paint on my key!
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After years of beta testing, my body is ready to launch OS X Cougar.
I feel a little cheated when someone’s bio is in English but all their tweets are written in gobblety gobblety.
I hate when people text me “what are you doing?” at 1:00 pm on a weekday.
Well I don’t have your Art History degree, so probably “working”.
I sat down beside this guy in a diner, every time he went to take a bite of his sandwich I’d say nomnomnom. He left. Making friends is hard.
Deeply concerning if literal: Last Christmas I gave you my heart.
I want my headstone to read “loving wife, evil dictator”.
Excuse me while I go powder the inside of my nose.
I have a dog to make sure that the noises in the middle of the night are nothing serious and I have a cat to make those noises.
Death metal fans are complaining abt all the noise. Irony.