[puts puppy in microwave]
[googles instructions for making hotdogs]
[quickly releases puppy from microwave]
If you love someone don’t do anything. Just wait, see what happens. Maybe it will go away
You Might Also Like
My boss threw a Snickers at me and I caught it one handed so I think I’d be a good athlete if sports were played with candy bars
Just got glasses for the first time in 20 years and holy shit everyone looks terrible
Nine out of ten doctors agree that dying is bad for your health. The other doctor is clad in a dark robe and carrying a scythe.
What did the little champagne bottle call his father?
Oh baby, were not going to need a ‘do not disturb’ sign. We’re going to need a ‘please don’t call the police were fine’ sign.
writers really said: what if homework… was a career.
Can I still watch 300 if I haven’t seen the first 299
“none of your ridiculous drink recipes tonight, ok dan?”
*stuffing flatbread into blender* WHO WANTS A PITA COLADA
Okay kids don’t ever talk to strangers or take candy from strangers or go to stranger’s houses except on the day we worship the devil.