
[final debate]
TRUMP: I’d like to apologize to hillary
MODERATOR: umm ok
HILLARY: umm ok
TRUMP: I brought a gift *hands her a galaxy note 7*
[final debate]
TRUMP: I’d like to apologize to hillary
MODERATOR: umm ok
HILLARY: umm ok
TRUMP: I brought a gift *hands her a galaxy note 7*
Met a dog named Donut. I don’t need that kind of reminder all day. Excuse me, I have to go take Smaller Portions for a walk.
WHY?!
yeah baby i am an animal in bed. more specifically a koala. i can sleep for 22 hours a day
Why font matters.
when i go to an improv show and they ask for a suggestion i always scream out “don’t do any improv”
50% of fatherhood is repeating yourself.
Other 50% is untangling your kid from the shirt stuck on their head cause you didn’t unbutton it.
My favorite part of Zumba is mortgaging my house to pay the chiropractor.
I wish young people would stop idealising future dystopias and start enjoying the one they’re in.