lmao i’m in boston and you’re telling me they really talk like this??? i thought everyone was just doing a bit to make fun of mark wahlberg
You Might Also Like
The IRS just called me so I wired $5000 to their office in Pakistan just like they said so I hope that solves everything
[First prison riot]
Me: *guarding my toilet wine*
Pediatrician: They’re only getting two hours of screen time a day, right?
Me: HAHAHAHA! I mean, yes.
I adopt cats because I can’t have any of my own.
Make your own “restaurant style” salsa by adding water to regular salsa.
DOCTOR: [holding $5 bill] what’s this for?
ME: it’s a tip
DOCTOR: okay but you’re still dying
ME: [hands him another $5 bill]
The worst thing about that mime stealing my woman was when he silently laughed at me
Picking baby names is basically just listing names until you come to a name you don’t associate with some idiot you encountered at some point in your life.
Friend: I’m about to appear in court.
Me: Best of luck! Kill it!!
Friend:…not exactly the best phrase to use in a medical negligence case.
I play guitar but I only know a couple songs
Them: what kind of guitar?
Me: air guitar