“I’m a huge fan.” – Peacocks
ME: Excuse me…Where’s the rowing boat equipment?
EMPLOYEE: Keep going down there, Oar Aisle.
ME: Or you’ll what?
You Might Also Like
Reports are indicating that Ivanka Trump may take on some roles of the First Lady. Still no word on who will handle the duties of President.
what’s the funniest celebrity name if you swap their initials? I’m torn between Wenzel Dashington and Hom Tanks
7-year-old: What’s your favorite color?
Me: I don’t know.
7: I thought you went to college.
Pro Tip: If you are under the age of 35, don’t get married. If you are over 35, don’t get married. If you are 35, don’t get married.
Let me sing you the song of my people at 3-4 am.
Thoughts & prayers for my son who thought his phone was charging overnight only to find he must go to school on 6%.
Russian skater just explained that he is “not a robot,” proving, of course, that he is a robot. #Olympics
I’m Mexican and Filipino. No matter how you look at me, I’m good at cleaning.
girls w long ass hair love to cut three inches off and be like “i love my short hair omg it’s so short”