Go to bed barstool. You’re drunk
Monsters, Inc. 3:
It’s harder to make kids laugh
The Internet has made them jaded
The monster need help
They teach the kids to smoke pot
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Church: Follow Jesus.
Me: Does he follow back?
Me: Shoutout for shoutout??
“I’m single and ready to mingle”..oh god, is this why I’m still single, cuz I say shit like that?
My friend is addicted to interventions and I don’t know how to help him.
Why the hell do they call it fruit punch, like where do they get “punch” fr..
*gets knocked out by a grapefruit*
Dodo, a bird, an extinct bird
Ray, a pancake from the sea
May, a fly that lives one day
Fox, tells lies on my TV
If Spiderman really did whatever a spider can, he’d scare the shit out of women and get his ass kicked with a flip-flop.
A conspiracy board but for when we are trying to figure out what we want for dinner.
bugs when you lift up a rock
I truly don’t get the people that say the only thing they wish for their ex (s) is for them to be happy, even if it’s not with you
I’m over here secretly wishing mine would combust