I would be so pissed if someone shook me all night long.
My husband picks fights with me like he doesn’t even value half of all his assets.
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Donald Trump looks like the nasty businessman in a Disney movie who loses out to a six year-old and his dog.
In case nobody has Facebook, it’s cold outside.
Bugs Bunny turns 75 today. Now when he says “What’s up, Doc?” he’s legitimately concerned.
Manager: Your fired
Manager: How did you know I spelled it wrong if I spoke it out loud
Me: How did you know I corrected you
Pluto wasn’t even a planet for a full year on Pluto. Do you ever think about that? No. You only think about yourself.
This could be us but you keep mumbling about your dignity.
Tyler on Facebook says he ran 1.7 miles this morning… So based on calculations, I have 35 minutes to ransack his house tomorrow morning.
Had a yard sale to raise some much-needed cash. I really miss that yard.
i got you a candy necklace for a present but then something happened so i got you this string instead