@SavageDabs69 When people see ghosts, why aren’t they naked? Do clothes die and become ghosts too?
@OllyiConic scientist: don’t touch anything
me: [licked a petri dish already] got it
…20 minutes later
scientist: did you touch something
me: no
scientist: you’re changing colors just tell me what you touched and i’ll save you
me: [about to die] i didn’t touch anything i swear to god
You Might Also Like
@SavageDabs69 
@justabloodygame [Scooby & the gang catch a regular guy]
“Let’s see who this ghost really is!”
No! Wait, I’m not-
[rip off face]
*gasps* “OLD MAN SKELETON?”
@RahulReply going to office: late
.
going to a doctors appointment: late
.
going to a friends house: late
.
going to a concert: 8 hours early
@scot4bz Fact: Alcohol increases the size of the send button by 89%
@upsidedowntrash [Mulder softly whispering “I want to” at every exhibit in the Ripley’s Believe It or Not Museum.]
@truegritrumble HER: You almost ready to go to my mothers?
ME: *looking out window wondering if the jump will only break a leg & not kill me* Be right down.
@AnOrangeSNES In space, nobody can hear you scream for ice cream. So remember, before trips to colonize the galaxy bring your Ben & Jerrys.
@Dani_Feld Dear millionaires,
If you don’t have a bookcase that spins into a secret room then give your money to me because you’re spending it wrong.
@TheDanielleRock My 11 year old dumped his girlfriend because she was too “sassy.”
So I’m guessing my days are numbered.
@PaperWash When your girlfriend says “I love you” reply with “I love you more!” Because relationships are competitions that must be won.