Does anyone know any herbal remedies for worthlessness?
The best revenge is living well unless you have a crossbow.
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Overheard: “I think that guy is listening to us.”
5 and I are playing “guess the number I’m thinking of” with no limits and no clues. He’s guessing sequentially from 1. Talk next week, guys!
Interview Tip: When you get the “where do you see yourself in 5 years” question, don’t say “post-apocalyptic tribal warlord”.
“All I ever wanted to do is make a difference.” – Subtraction Man
What a spectacular disaster may I get your recipe?
Top uses for a bathroom exhaust fan:
3. Remove moisture from the air
2. Remove odor from the air
1. Cover up disgusting sounds
I bet there are muppets that have thought about shanking Elmo.
A first date is probably the best time to show off your wicked hand puppet skills.