@MaidOfBeans

The best revenge is living well unless you have a crossbow.

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@Bizarro_Mark

5 and I are playing “guess the number I’m thinking of” with no limits and no clues. He’s guessing sequentially from 1. Talk next week, guys!

@pointsymmetric

Interview Tip: When you get the “where do you see yourself in 5 years” question, don’t say “post-apocalyptic tribal warlord”.

@TheBoydP

Top uses for a bathroom exhaust fan:

3. Remove moisture from the air

2. Remove odor from the air

1. Cover up disgusting sounds

@dafloydsta

A first date is probably the best time to show off your wicked hand puppet skills.