@FU_Scopely
@ColoradoUgly Conservatives should be allowed to say whatever they want once they’re in the camps.
You Might Also Like
@ColoradoUgly 
@ceejoyner Baby needs a costume? Wrap it in tin foil. Baked potato. Next question.
@Smooheed If the interviewer asks where you see yourself in 5 years
Standing naked on top of a fire truck does not appear to be the correct answer
@UncleDuke1969 “I farms the taters…”
“…and I mashes the taters.”
@thejamietighe Tried cleaning the house to the A-Team theme and ended up building a tank. So close.
@MelvinofYork The guy said “Violence is never the answer” and I said “What if the question is ‘What is never the answer?’” and he punched me in the face.
@Ramitology Thank God you’ve updated your status to “Finished lunch” after you first posted “Going to lunch” I really couldn’t tolerate more suspense.
@VaguelyFunnyDan The irony of the gay pride flag is that it clashes with everything.
@birbigs Twitter action film:
MAN 1: Follow me.
MAN 2: On Twitter?
MAN 1: No. Physically, follow me. Or you’ll be killed.
MAN 2: On Twitter?
@maryfairybobrry Parentz Bop
-Here We Come A Tattling
-Deck The Walls With Permanent Markers
-Jingle Bells My Teen Smells
-Hark The Kids Are Out Of Bed
-All I Want For Christmas Is You To Stop Fighting
-God Rest Ye Tired Parents
-It’s Beginning To Look A lot Like Christmas Is Cancelled