@Pork_Chop_Hair Pack a bag, we’re going on a tangent.
@reallifemommy3 The person who figures out how to marry someone without marrying their family too, will win the Nobel Peace Prize
You Might Also Like
@Pork_Chop_Hair 
@batkaren Dinosaurs never could have survived to the present day.
Like…can you even imagine a stegosaurus trying to climb into a Honda Civic? Totally ridiculous.
@JimmerThatisAll I’m going to go out on a limb here and fall off obviously.
@emptyheadtwo He raised an eyebrow, put his hand down and with one eye on the table, looked expressionless.
Never play poker against Mr Potato Head.
@alldrolledup Body: All done?
Brain: All done.
Body: goodnight
Brain: goodnight
Body:
Brain:Brain: Flintstone tiptoed a lot for a big dude
@alextranquada EXORCIST: the previous tenant was murdered. You can see their ghost in the background of this photo
SPOOKY GHOST VOICE: oooomg deleeeete it
@noog Squirrels run around like they’re being chased. Nobody cares about you. You live in tree. Get a job
@robdelaney Hate when you’re walking behind someone & want to pass them & then they start the “drift” & you both crash into a shelf of glass figurines.
@UncleDuke1969 no one ever comes back
@slimmy_shady My tongue was actually in the Guinness Book of World Records until the damn librarian kicked me out.